I hate (oh, I mean dislike because we "don't say hate in our house") that I was in such a good space this morning when the children were gone and now that they are home again I'm a screaming, pouting witch. Pleasant picture, no? What does that say about me that I am a better mother/person when I am not with the children???
It just drives me crazy that in this grand gesture of 'helping', Brent takes the girls out to give me some time to myself. Of course, I immediately translate that into "time to clean the house". Four hours (yes, four whole hours to clean, re-organize, and purge and I am STILL not finished) everyone arrives home with sneakers on the just mopped floor going on about ALL the fun they had and "Where's all my stuff?", "I don't like the room arranged like this!", and my all time favourite from dearest husband "You made the choice to stay home, we thought you were going to relax, there is always time to do this (making a sweeping gesture at the 5th load of laundry, the vacuum and the mop), you should have relaxed or come with us".
And I guess on some level he has a point, it (the housework- the ENDLESS bane of my existence) isn't going anywhere, but I want to get on top of it, or at least see the top of it, so I can go and enjoy other things. I am (obviously) behind on stuff and I want to (yet again) make a bigger effort at maintaining a reasonable level of cleanliness by not procrastinating, and the only way I see to do that is to do a HUGE clean-up and then proceed from there. Truly though, when did I become the keeper, cleaner, and manager of EVERYTHING?
I think (at least today anyway) I want to go back to work full time and then I won't have the time to even care about all of this and everyone will have no choice but to pitch in or it will all, literally, fall apart. Full time work means more money, not being 24 hours a day responsible for the care, education, health and well-being of the two girls, the house will stay neater because we're not in it and I get to talk to other grown up people about SOMETHING other than homeschooling and housework. Sounds kind of appealing to me right now.
There, I do feel better having got that off my chest. Not the first blog entry I wanted to have, but there you go.
It just drives me crazy that in this grand gesture of 'helping', Brent takes the girls out to give me some time to myself. Of course, I immediately translate that into "time to clean the house". Four hours (yes, four whole hours to clean, re-organize, and purge and I am STILL not finished) everyone arrives home with sneakers on the just mopped floor going on about ALL the fun they had and "Where's all my stuff?", "I don't like the room arranged like this!", and my all time favourite from dearest husband "You made the choice to stay home, we thought you were going to relax, there is always time to do this (making a sweeping gesture at the 5th load of laundry, the vacuum and the mop), you should have relaxed or come with us".
And I guess on some level he has a point, it (the housework- the ENDLESS bane of my existence) isn't going anywhere, but I want to get on top of it, or at least see the top of it, so I can go and enjoy other things. I am (obviously) behind on stuff and I want to (yet again) make a bigger effort at maintaining a reasonable level of cleanliness by not procrastinating, and the only way I see to do that is to do a HUGE clean-up and then proceed from there. Truly though, when did I become the keeper, cleaner, and manager of EVERYTHING?
I think (at least today anyway) I want to go back to work full time and then I won't have the time to even care about all of this and everyone will have no choice but to pitch in or it will all, literally, fall apart. Full time work means more money, not being 24 hours a day responsible for the care, education, health and well-being of the two girls, the house will stay neater because we're not in it and I get to talk to other grown up people about SOMETHING other than homeschooling and housework. Sounds kind of appealing to me right now.
There, I do feel better having got that off my chest. Not the first blog entry I wanted to have, but there you go.
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